Humans of Campus

College taught me to become someone I’d be comfortable living as for a long time : Titha Ghosh , Jindal Global University

Humans of Campus

 

My story would be incomplete without this pandemic, almost deemed meaningless if I wasn’t looked in the eye by an intangible strain of virus and told, every plan that I’ve held dear my entire life would soon fill up a jar that says ‘Let’s save that for later’.

 

This pandemic has not been easy, for anybody. Some have suffered more than others. Some have had to battle with the illness itself, while others have had to keep the fear of the unknown at bay. Plans have been completely tossed over, lives shaken to the core, and certainty has become a luxury. But throughout it, being witness to a phenomenon like this one has etched our names, every single one of ours, in the books of history—in the tales of wondrous times that will be told even after we are gone. And we have, in our own little ways, shielded ourselves from the curveballs being thrown at us and changed the world so early on in our lives. There are very few who could say the same, and one must remember the strength that awards us!

 

But in reminding ourselves what we are capable of, we must also look back fondly at everything that has brought us to this exact minute. And for me, I can say without hesitation, nothing has been as great a force of nature as my time in college.

 

I do not want to get off the joyride that has been these three years. Because life is routine, and a few minutes of thrill can break the monotony. College had been like those few minutes.

 

Now, I cannot possibly narrate my story without the readers being made fully aware of a few of my very innately conflicting characteristics. Firstly, it is unfathomable to think I have a ‘story’ that is worth being told; or that my lived experiences in O.P. Jindal can be exceptionally interesting to anybody. But as a response to the honour that it was to have been asked by these wonderful people associated with Campuslly, I’d like to let you all in on a few secrets that I have preserved inside a mind-cabinet over the last three years.

 

I remember stepping into Jindal three years ago with only one expectation—that I will engage in activities and meet people who can help me identify who I was and what I was good at.

 

This is where one must know the first and most significant verity of mine that I hold close; I have never been particularly sure of myself. Now that may sound slightly discouraging but there have been times, especially over these last couple years of not knowing every little detail about myself has in turn revealed so much about the world around me.

 

 

So, like any other first year, I had my plans in place, ready to start living that “best college life”. And this is where I must introduce to you, one of my other verities—I am gullible, and I don’t detest it.

 

Jindal to me has for a long time now, been a place that I am incredibly fond of, so much so that the thought of having to leave it has impaired me for days on end. It has sought shelter in my mind as “my happy place”. My college got under my skin and the people I met there, have ridden out the roller-coaster with me and unknowingly helped me come to grips with who I am. I have been called to be a part of beautiful projects, thoughtful initiatives and wild experiences. Been supported through my pensive sadness and held on to as I hit rock-bottom, but brazenly so.

 

This is where I reveal to you, the final blemish on my character; one that is also the most destabilizing—I am phobic of opinions (Allodoxaphobia is a real thing, can you imagine?) And the very fear debilitates me from ever being able to talk about it. But if one wished to imagine my worst nightmare, you could think of entering a room that is filled with all the people you have ever met and grown to love, but they are not facing you. They are looking away or at each other and you can hear the walls tell you they wouldn’t stop looking away unless you exit the room.

 

However, I am ready to realize that it is okay. I am ready to stop treating my mental health issues as an alibi for not stopping for a moment to breathe.

 

I remember preparing all throughout December last year for my last semester in college. And now with everything that’s going on, there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the course of this semester, and that’s tragic. I had three months to hold on to for dear life, till about two weeks ago.

 

 

Now I have one, or maybe not even that and that is disconcerting. But there are worse things out there, greater calamities and fiercer endings, and who we have become and will, with each passing day, is just a part of preparing to face those very calamities, head-on!

Titha Ghosh

Batch of 2020

Jindal Global University

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