Hard work has never been a problem for me , I like working and studying. I am one of those people who feel guilty about sitting ideal or having to do nothing.
Since i was in 5th standard , my goal was clear , I wanted to become a fashion designer. Not once did I have any 2nd thoughts about it all through my school years. I was a bright student from the starting so many a times my teachers or relatives would try to talk me out of this career option as it did not have much scope according to them . Luckily, my parents were always supportive.
Nift was my dream college , it always has been . There was not a single doubt in that. In 2019 I was put in my life’s biggest dilemma , that was to either give more attention to cracking NIFT ENTRANCE EXAM or give my best in 12th boards . I knew nift mattered more so I decided to keep it aside , give my boards and prepare for it taking a drop year so I could put my heart and soul into it. So I did the same wormed hard for 12th boards got 95.25% and decided to take admission in DU ( college of vocational studies )
as an backup option , even though I knew I didn’t need a backup I did it for my parents . Soon college started along with my NIFT prep going side by side .
College was good initially , I met the most amazing people and made friends for life! I wasn’t a very confident person so I made sure I am looking good and always well dressed before going to college ( or any other place for that matters )
I got a lot of praise for my style or how I presented myself from not only friends but also from people I barely Knew in college , they would be like teach us how to dress like you . A lot of them suggested me to go for fashion blogging , one of them even said that I already dress up like one!
I was overwhelmed , even though I have always wanted to do fashion blogging, a small voice in my head always said that I couldn’t do it. Time passed by , the thought disappeared. As nift exam was getting closer , I began putting as much of my time as I could in its preparation. One thing I am very grateful for du is that along with giving me a bunch of memories, being in that college , hopelessly sitting in the class studying eco and marketing , it made me realise how badly in wanted to get into nift and that I just do not belong here . So I studied way harder .
I gave my exam on 19th Jan 2020 , it was amazing I was on cloud 9. I was sitting ideal for 3 months after that, awaiting the results which finally came in March . Can never forget how my heart was pounding and hands shivering, I opened it and there it was ” provisionally selected for situation test”.
I couldn’t be happier , my parents were so proud , it made me happy and excited that I had come one step closer to my dream college .
Little did I know that the tough times were ahead of us, after the results lockdown happened it felt like everything had come to a halt the though that I have already had a drop year and thus year could potentially turn into one due to coronavirus was very disturbing. But I tried to stop worrying about it and count my blessing in these tough times I have a roof over my head food to eat and my family is healthy what more do I need? soon I embraced the lockdown life but I knew I could not spend another month of sitting ideal , I had to have a purpose , so more or less lockdown was the reason I started blogging and said bye bye to that little voice in my head . one night I just went for it tuned my account into a blog and stared my blogging journey. I had one month before my next nift exam .
So I was blogging and preparing for it via online classes at the same time. there were days when I would feel like I am good for nothing as I would not be able to accomplish my daily targets of both blogging and studying. It started affecting my sleep too I was always feeling like I am not going to do well in either of them and fail terribly .But after such sleepless nights another day would come and I would promise myself to do better . Soon things started to get better and be under my control I learnt to balance both of them , thanks to my sister for tolerating my tantrums while shooting and being my photographer , editor all in one and my mum for always motivating me when I would feel low because my work wasn’t getting enough appreciation .Through all this I learnt that I do not have to be so hard on myself , it’s okay to take a break , it’s okay when certain things take more time to happen , and what matters the most is what you expect from yourself rather than what others do . You need to live up to your own expectations not anybody else’s!
2 months later after postponing the situation test Nift finally issued the guidelines stating that the 2nd exam is cancelled and they were announcing the result on 25th June. That entire week after the announcement till 25th I would get random breakdowns and consecutive sleepless nights.
Finally 25th came they published the results quite early in the morning at 10:am . I woke up on my own at 10:30 in a fright and I opened myy phone , the result was out , you know this time I was not shivering I calmly opened it, I was confident that it was up to my expectation.
There it was , I was selected into NIFT . my rank was 1100 I was extremely proud of myself .Even though I will be going out of Delhi now, and I have shed my share if tears for the same reason that I will be away from my family and friends ,I still cannot wait to start this new chapter of my life .
It’s been a month now since the results have come out I am doing well with my blog , received a lot of appreciation recently for a video I dedicated to the pride month and I am still not sure of the Nift center I will be getting and the paranoia does hit sometimes, I feel helpless but then I remember what my favourite teacher once told me that- some times things happen that you might feel aren’t for you but then later you find out That it was the only missing piece of your puzzle and and that the pieces fit together and you are grateful that it happened the way it did even though you wanted different things on life at that moment.
At last I would just say that You can have it all , just keep hustling and do not stop till you get where you want to be , believe in yourself , ignore those who try to pull you down because nobody gets to decide your worth ONLY YOU DO!
Follow – Shruti Agarwal
Read More on Humans of Campus
- I am a Rainbow with so many shades of happiness to spread!” – Twinkle Makol – Bharati College, DU
- FAILURE, BETRAYAL, GETTING MISLED and anything that has to do with giving up has never stopped me from putting my foot into things that fascinate me – Ayushi Baaliyan , College of Vocational Studies, DU